One day he also tried to kill her when she refused to give him her golden bangles ( a gift given to her from her parents at her wedding)

, but she escaped her life and gave him her bangles. Many time after bearing these abuses she returned back to her maternal home. But every time they sent her back here, as it is very common here to suffer this violence from husband.  But one day her husband divorced fuzia and kicked out form his house with all three children, they made during their marriage period. One girl and two boys, one boy is 3 years old, girl is two and little one is only 8 months old. And she arrived at her parents home, they also scolded her for her divorce. They also denied bearing the burden of her three children. One day they snatched her children to return them to their father, she ran after their vehicle madly for her children, she ran probably for two miles and than dropped at road exhausted. She said them please bring my children back I would do every thing by my own self for them. They will not be burden at your shoulders. But they did not paid any attention to her mournful requests. And when she lost every hope to see again her children, she died with this grief. And ended this tragedy for ever for herself.

 Family is a place where individuals seek love, security, safety and shelter. But it is also the place where women and children could bare drastic forms of violence.

This violence could be of different types, like physical, sexual, economical, and psychological. Many time all these form of violence go hand in hand.

As it is mentioned that family is a place where individuals seek love, security and shelter, but in Pakistani system it is more than this for women. Pakistani woman is not independent but she depends upon male members of her family for her financial aid. In Pakistani culture it is not liked that women work for themselves.

They are bound in every sphere of life to obey men. Different cultural norms are great cause of violence and abuse at women.

All over the world 20 to 50 percent of women are victim of domestic violence. But in Pakistan 90% of women suffer from these abuses.

In the Europe and USA domestic violence means violence by spouses are intimate partner. They mostly don’t suffer this from other family members. But in Pakistan women not only suffer this from their husbands but before their marriage they also bear the violence of their father and brothers.

In Pakistan different kind of violence for women in different parts of their lives are given below.

At birth:

             In Pakistan a baby girl is mostly not welcomed. And not only men but elder women members of family also show their discontent ness. And with the arrival of new technology girls are killed before their birth after the confirmation of the sex though screening. In some part of the India this technique was so much used for the elimination of girls that there are no more girls in the new generation. Even though it is illegal but they are still doing the same practice.

Childhood:

                     Girls don’t enjoy their childhood as their brothers enjoy it. They even not have given the same food as their brothers given. It is learned to them from their own parents that their brothers are superior to them.  They don’t get better education f9clities at it is said that they are only extra burden on their parents. And they have too do only household work all in their lives. So they are used to do household works from their early childhood.

Teen age:

It is a practice to marry the girls in early their life. They don’t enjoy their life at all. They have not any right. Even they could not make their own decision by themselves. But their elder decide every thing for them.

Marriage:

                 This brings more violence in their life both from their parent, family and husband. First of their consent at their marriages not obtained, but they are only informed about the occasion. And impelled to make a person their life partner even they don’t know. And the man who come in her life assume her his property but not a human being. He always wants to underestimate her, and never allow her to do what she wants.

At her marriage it is said to her that now her husband home is her last place and only her dead body will be come out of it. Any other form i.e. if she wants divorce from her husband that would brought bad name to her family and she will not be allowed of this.

Different cultural norms that bring violence to women:

In our society and culture women don’t have equal rights. They are assumed less than men. And it is teach to them to obey their father and husband. Male see it from their childhood that their sisters are less than them. They see how their father treats their mother. They got it that women are they property they are born to rule over them. In Islam women have their share in their father’s property but in our country mostly they are not given their share. And give their part to their brothers.

In our country there are many traditions that allow the male members of a family to kill their women. These traditions are wini, sawara, karo kari, their Nikah with Koran. Men kill their women in the name of honor and nobody ask them. Every year hundred of women are killed by their fathers and husbands. But they never got any punishment as they say that they killed her because she was involved in sexual relations. In many areas of Pakistan women are give to the rival family for settling disputes and conflicts after murders usually. You can assume who can respect and love such women. Whole their life they pay for a crime which is not committed by them.

Sexual abuse: 

                         In Pakistan sexual abuse against women is very common. Every year thousand of women suffer from this hilarious situation. But conditions of justice are very poor. And about the sexual abuse in their married life they don’t have any right to ask about it. After marriage men treat them just an object not a human being.

And if women not get physical and sexual abuse than psychological abuse is still exist fort them. They don’t have any right to think about their rights. Even they are so used to this that a common women living in Lahore who got slaps, kicks and stalks from her husband, proudly say that she has a success full marriage life.

In Pakistan every year thousand of women are killed by their husbands and in laws because they don’t brought sufficient dowry. Acid throwing is also another form 0f abuse used against women from their husbands if they talk about their rights.

  These are all different reasons that brought violence against women.

   Economic factors play a great role in domestic violence.

First the definition of economic abuse:

                                                                        Economic abuse is when the abuser has complete control over the victim’s money and other economic resources. Usually, this involves putting the victim on a strict “allowance,” withholding money at will and forcing the victim to beg for the money until the abuser gives them some money. It is common for the victim to receive less money as the abuse continues. This also includes (but is not limited to) preventing the victim from finishing education or obtaining employment, or intentionally squandering or misusing communal resources.

Economic factors causing violence:

1. Women economic depend upon men:

                                                                In Pakistan women economic expenditures depends upon men. For every need and at every step they have to ask men to give some money. Women generally are not allowed to do jobs for earning money.

1. Limited access to cash and credit:

                                                          They have a very limited access to cash and credit by themselves. So they feel very helpless and dependent on others. So if their spouses harm them the women have to bear it because they don’t have any other option. Where they will go if the leave their husband? Their family never support their decision.

1. limited access to informal and formal sector:

                                                                              if women have sufficient education to do job than an other problem is that there are very few seats for them reserved in formal and informal sectors. This also bound them to bear their husband’s ill behavior.

1. Limited access to education and women training:

                                                                                 Women have very little opportunities to get higher education and training for job. As in our culture it is not liked that women earn money. Even many conservative women too think that women should not do jobs and earn money for them selves, because it makes them more independent and they don’t respect their husband any more which is very bad.

So all these factors restrict women from earning money, and depend upon their husbands for their financial aid and fulfilling their need. So in the situations like that how they cant complaint that they are suffering domestic violence, When they don’t have any other money resources.

And even if some body live her home there is not any sufficient and secure place for her to live. Government has made shelter homes in every big city, but their situation is miserable. Often women living in these shelter homes are impelled to prostitution.

Now with the help of education scenario is changing in big cities but in villages situation still need our attention. Many laws for women protection are here. But we don’t need only laws, their awareness and tradition to follow them is also needed.

   References: www.wikipedia.org

www.irin.com

www.womenweb.com

When you feel wretched

When you feel  alone

even in your own family

When you feel betrayed

 But don’t know by whom

When you darkness around you

This makes you restless

This makes you miserable

You feel nothing

Neither pain nor any emotion

But only silence and coldness

Deep silence and intense coldness

In your heart

You cant help it

You can’t change it

But you wish for

And you don’t understand

 why such feeling has taken hold of you?

You ask yourself why it is so

But the answer is silence intense and deep silence

Oh what does it mean

Why it is so?